home again.

so, now i am home. and it feels good and yet it's hard. it's the same and yet it's different. 

i start to ask myself if i really lived in Mexico for 5 weeks. and then i look at pictures and remind myself that i did. and while i was there i learned a lot but what good does that do in my life now? 

what good does learning something do in your life if you aren't going to apply it? 

in the airplane (after waking up late, speeding to the airport, running through the security, tripping over my shoes, falling and getting to my gate just in time...) i started to cry. i cried tears of gratitude. i cried tears of sadness. i cried tears of thankfulness for God's leading. i cried tears of leaving. i cried tears of love. i cried tears of why am i crying? 

and after those tears i decided that i wanted to change. i wanted to put into practice what i learned. and so i wrote it all down:

what i learned that i want to do:

-learn spanish (learn to think in it!)

-take a seminary class

-research counseling

-research foster care and things that i would need for that.

-maybe volunteer with bethany christian services.

-read the bible more. like the actual bible, not just devotionals. read the psalms. daily.

*remember not to do too many things and not do them well. just choose a few things and do them well. even the “shallow and mundane.”

*also remember that God has given you a passion and a purpose that are intertwined. His will for you isn’t a thin fine line that you have to search for; live your life for God and with God and THAT is His purpose for you!”

things i want to change in my life:

-answer nicely and kindly. each person has feelings. build each other up.

-be more genuine and learn to love like Jesus Christ.

-use my time wisely. (what you spend your time on, defines you) each moment honor God even if you are just “sitting around or waiting in the car or WHATEVER YOU DO.”

-stop living a fake life on facebook. "the thing you spend the most time on is the thing that molds you most." 

-stay in better contact with people. take time for them...just like you want people to take time for you. (“let’s go out for coffee...let’s skype... etc.”) “do to others...”

-hunger for God Himself. hunger for His Word. hunger for more fellowship with Him. 

-stop my sinful habits. (hebrews 10:26) claim a truth and stand on that promise. come back to this truth daily. the Word of God is powerful!

things i learned:

-each day is important. each moment is a gift. this should drastically change the way you live.

-God loves people and you are an imitator of Him. LOVE PEOPLE.

-live by faith. even when things don’t make sense. follow Him in everything, daily.

-that breakfast can be more than just peanut butter and blackberry jam :)

-do things and be crazy! have fun! live your life to the fullest! 

-God does not forget His people. Psalm 13

-the church is a place of worship, growth and fellowship with those around you. but also, even if you don’t “feel” like going, God commands us to go. Worship isn’t about you, it’s about Jesus. 

-live your life in the “shallowness” don’t wait to live for Jesus only in the “profound.”

-redeem your time.

*apply these in your life. “don’t merely listen to the Word...do what it says.” James 1:22 

i realized that writing those things down while i was still away helps me now to fully remember what God taught me while in Mexico. and i pray that posting these things here will keep me accountable and remind me to change. to fully change. 

i don't want to become like the man in James 1:23-24 "...who listens to the Word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like."

Lord God, please help me change. and grow closer to you.