in deep waters.

in less than 3 weeks, i will be in Tijuana, Mexico at a YWAM base with a dear family. i am going as their nanny and couldn't be more excited to see what God is going to do in and thru them and in a thru me and in and thru all those we meet. wow, i cannot wait. and yet...

and yet, i'm leaving for 3 months. i'm leaving the farm. i'm leaving my job at harbor house. i'm leaving the girls i nanny for. i'm leaving friendships with students at byron center campus life. i'm leaving my family.

yes, i am planning on coming back but that doesn't change the fact that while i'm gone, someone else will love on the girls i nanny for. someone else will have to be hired at harbor house to take my spot (and they are hiring - and its a great place to work! check it out!) someone else will go on the spring break trip with campus life. someone else will help my grandparents move. someone else will be in my childhood friend's wedding. someone else will work on my parents strawberry farm. someone else.

when I first heard about this opportunity to go to mexico, i went home crying because all these things were going thru my head. i'm going to miss them. oh so dearly. because this is my life. but Jesus said in luke 14:26 "if anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple."

and so i go.

and no, i don't hate my family.

in other words, Jesus was saying that your devotion needs to be to Him first and foremost. when He tells you to go, you obey. you say "Jesus, you are my first love. to love you is to obey you."

and sometimes He asks you to obey Him in the mundane, every day. and other times He calls you across country. and in both circumstances, our response should be "here i am, Lord, send me"

it is hard for me to follow Him in the mundane, every day, going to work, repeat. But God doesn't ask us to follow Him only when it's exciting and cross-country. He calls us daily.

and when you say yes to following Him, and when you tell Him and He can use you however He decides, and when you are obedient. you will one day look around you and think to yourself: "wow, i am really in over my head." <-- and that, my friends, is the beauty of following Jesus.



you are in over your head.

you are out in deep waters.

you might have absolutely no idea what to do.



But He does. and He is with you. and He will never leave you. and this, all this trust, obeying and following, is taking you out, deeper than your feet could ever wander. but there, and only there, will your faith be made stronger.

even though you may be in over your head, if you are following Jesus and the plan He has for your life, trust in His plan. hold His outstretched hand. and stop. look around you. you may just be beautifully in over you head.

so here I go. I go out into deep waters. and boy, is it scary and nerve-racking. and sad. and beautiful. and it's all a part of His plan to take me deeper than my feet could ever wander.and to be beautifully in over my head.

*this blog is partly inspired by these songs (oceans and beautifully in over my head) and my dear sister in Christ, Alyssa, who I have the sweet privilege of learning from and loving on as I serve their family as their nanny in Tijuana!