i'm here!

hello from the YWAM base here in Tijuana!

honestly, it feels like i've been here for a very long time and then i remember that it's only been 4 days. and other times i still feel like a rookie because i don't know that many people (and there's a lot of people here) and the girls and i are still getting to know and trust each other and we haven't adjusted to the schedule here yet. so there's just a mix of emotions.

and it's in this beautiful mess of emotions and feelings, that i trust God's plan. He brought me to this place. His leading was so sure that even in these moments of doubt and hardship and of breakdowns and crying, i trust Him.

and so here i rest. trusting in His plan.

 my prayer as i embarked on this journey was that i would be content with God has given me. i went out for lunch with a mentor of mine the day before i left and i shared some fears with her about how maybe i wouldn't have friends or how i might not get along with my roommates, and she asked me why i am going. i said to love on 4 precious girls. her response was "is that not enough for you?"

is that not enough for you?

is each smile, each flower they pick for me, each hand in mine, each time they yell out "jodi"and come running to me to give me a hug not enough?

this year, on January 1, i started reading thru the Bible in one year. and so the other day, my assigned reading was 2 Samuel 12, which is where nathan the prophet rebukes david for his sin with bathsheba. because most of these stories are not new to me, my prayer is that God would reveal something new to me each time I read these familiar stories. in the midst of Nathan rebuking david for his sin, he points out all the blessings that God has lavished onto david. and then he said this:

"...and if this were too little, I would add to you as much more..."

wow, talk about a slap in the face. why are we not content with all the blessings God has given us? here i am in Mexico, complaining. how immature. how rude of me to discard all the blessings God has given me and wish for more?

He has untrusted me the privilege of loving on these girls.

and when i stop and look around, i wanna slap myself in the face for not being thankful for all that God has blessed me with. why is it so easy to focus on all that we don't have? i don't wanna live this way. i desire to live a life of gratitude. to thank Him for every little thing.

to thank Him for the friendships I have made over a taco lunch after church yesterday.

to thank Him for each conversation with my 3 roommates, whether that's in the bathroom as we get ready for bed or an invite to play volleyball.

to thank Him for each sunrise and sunset over the Pacific Ocean with a perfect view of the painted sky from my bedroom.

to thank Him for leading me to this place.

to thank Him for his grace and gentle leading as i learn these lessons of gratitude.