the past month has been oh so full. so full of learning. of growing. of new friends. of ministry. of laughter and tears. of many emotions. of house builds. of soup kitchens and orphanages. of van rides. of memories. of youth groups. of dance parties. of beach nights. of seeing God at work. of seeing His plan. of reminders of His faithfulness.

a home for the disabled/elderly.
the community at the city dump
like I said, these past few weeks have been so full. I am blessed beyond measure to be a part of the mission adventures here in tj. but in the midst of these adventures and ministries, there are struggles and heartaches and tears and hard times and unknowns and upset plans.
a few days ago, I was living into these frustrations and disappointments. one of my dear friends here came up to me, pulled me aside, prayed over me and spoke truth into my life. With the help of the Holy Spirit, she saw that I was focused on these petty problems and wasn't living with the joy of the Lord.
"give God your disappointments.
don't live into these frustrations.
don't let your emotions control you.
focus your eyes on Him.
Keep your eyes above the waves.
Find your joy and strength in Him and Him alone."
after we had prayed together, as I was reflecting on what was spoken, I thought about the story of Peter walking on water in Matthew 14.
"Lord, if its you, command me to come to you on the water."
I can so relate to Peter. I feel like I've said the same thing to God. "Lord, if its you, command me, lead me, guide me to go where you lead." ...and He led me here. to TJ. and He called me to stay for the summer. so here I am.
and just like Peter, it is so easy to get caught up in the moment of walking on water, or doing ministry, or living life, that we take our eyes off of Jesus.
and we start to sink.
and we call out.
"Lord, save me."
we call out thinking that we are all alone. we call out thinking that He left us. we call out thinking we have to do it ourselves. we call out because we we look around us and see the waves and the storm.
but He is there.
...and took hold of him, saying
"o you of little faith, why did you doubt?
o you of little faith, why did you take your eyes off of me?
o you of little faith, why do you not trust me?
but while He is asking this question, He is still holding Peter. He is still holding us. He is not upset that we doubted. He asks in the most loving way possible.
Why do we not trust His promises? Why do we take our eyes off of Him? Why is it so easy to doubt?
I don't have answers but I do know that He is faithful. and His promises are sure. and His love is constant. And His grace is unconditional. and His plans are for good.
This week has begun and another team arrives tomorrow. no matter what happens, or how crazy this week is, or what the future holds, I will strive to keep my eyes above the waves and focused on Jesus because I know he is with me and will never leave me.
amen.
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